Why do we think people send mixed signals? Yes, women might be a mystery to men, but do we differ that much in reality? How to tell if someone cares about you? Some men take emotional abuse and excessive control as a sign of genuine care. “If she liked me, she would’ve been more jealous!?” Why do we perceive false alarms of toxicity as signs of love and affection, and how to change that? Here is what real care means opposing the signs a girl is playing with your feelings.

When a girl gets jealous, it means she cares

False signs of care from a woman

“When a girl gets jealous, it means she cares.” Most men and women tend to think that controlling behavior and temper tantrums are a norm and should be perceived as a sign of genuine love and affection. But is it so? What signs are so misleading that managed to see it as deep bond, yet it is simply toxic and destructive? Here are the five worst patterns of behavior when dating a woman you shouldn’t perceive as love: 

Control and desire to change you

“When a girl is always in your business, it means that she cares at the very least.” When two people genuinely care about each other, they give as much personal space as possible. We were taught that our parents intrude into our life because they were curious and didn’t want us to mess up big time. But who suffers from this behavior the most? The desire to make a person something they are not and limit their manifestations of uniqueness should be perceived as domestic abuse and binding, not healthy behavior. 


When she cares about you, she won’t be indifferent when things don’t go her way, right? That is a dangerous mindset that might put you through some serious trials and tribulations. When a woman truly loves you, she can successfully communicate with you without tears or threats to break up. Manipulation isn't the best way of showing affection. People who use manipulative tactics to get their way may love you in a sense, but they don't care about your emotional and psychological well-being. 

Shallow words and no deeds

How to tell if someone really cares about you? Are their words of positive appraisal and encouragement a sign of care if they never turn into help? When people juggle words in attempts of showing love and affection, realize that one should be estimated by their words. Unless a girl is backing up her words with deeds, you shouldn't be all smiley, reassured that she would put the world to your feet. Did she do anything she was talking about? Women say that a man should be judged by his actions, but it works both ways. Wait till you see what she does after those promises before jumping to conclusions.

Not compromising

People think that a constant inability to compromise means that their partner cares so deeply to the point of rejecting other options. But why is this behavior toxic and problematic? People who don't like finding common ground don't care about their partner simply because they never hear what the second party has to say. Anything besides compromising should be seen as a sign of abuse and inability to hear each other in a conflict.

How to know for sure when she cares about you

When a woman cares for a man, she makes it known by making him feel good. If you experience inexplicable aggression and frustration in a relationship, it might be a sign that something is deeply wrong with the connection. But what a healthy attitude looks like and how to know she cares for real? 

1. She gives you autonomy

Independence is key in any relationship. When a woman neglects her right to be a separate human being, she doesn’t care what you like and dislike. 

2. She lets you develop separately

Healthy borders are a sign of care and love because two people trust each other enough not to cling to each other for life. 

3. She lends a helping hand

If a girl is there anytime you need her, it is a sign that she wants to be there. Have you ever noticed how toxic people disappear in a seemingly critical moment? 

4. She doesn’t push your boundaries

A girl who respects your boundaries doesn’t get frustrated when things don’t go her way. Why? Because she realizes you are a separate person who doesn’t want to change every aspect of their life, constantly playing a martyr.

When she cares about you

5. She doesn’t make you suffer, compromising everything 

People who tell you to compromise and change your behavior without changing theirs simply want to use you to get their way. 

6. She doesn’t forbid seeing other people

When a woman cares about you, she respects your private life outside of a relationship. You are allowed to have friends and quality time with your family without a fear of being reciprocated and a feeling of being a traitor. 

7. She doesn’t take most of your time

“Does she care about me if we barely spend time together?“ Psychologists found out what people who truly love each other are not afraid to let their partner go because they know anything won’t happen in their absence. If a girl gives you some me-time, she cares enough to let you live your life. 

8. She helps you without compensation

A woman who doesn’t wait for service in return does wholesome things because she cares. Remember that if you relationship is completely transactional, it is a way of controlling your mind and becoming co-dependent. 

9. She is honest about her feelings

A woman who likes you treats you with respect and doesn’t gatekeep her true feelings. She doesn’t omit important facts to avoid conflict because avoiding conflict is selfish. 

10. She isn’t afraid of confrontation

You might think that two caring people would never put each other through tough critics and quarrels. It isn’t true as confrontation is the best way to illuminate problematic sides of a relationship, and being silent about important things is not the right tactic. 

11. She remembers the smallest details about you

Signs she cares about you have everything to do with remembering your important dates, likes, and dislikes, as well as tracking your progress and understanding your development as a human being. 

12. She is there to provide advice

A girl who cares about you always has something wise to say. And if she doesn’t, she tries her best to find external help. 

13. She is happy for you as if it were her accomplishments

When a person cares about your well-being, they are genuinely happy when you win.

How to tell if someone really cares about you

14. She is first to call you when something goes wrong 

A girl who likes you and cares about you will magically appear anytime you are in trouble.

15. She wants to know you more

Even if you’ve spent thirty years together, a girl who cares never stops guessing your new traits. 

If she cares, does it mean she loves?

Her care doesn’t necessarily mean she is in love or involved romantically, but she develops strong and complex feelings for you as a human being, which is much more valuable than physical attraction and passion. 

These were all the signs she cares deeply about you. Remember that you have to feel good, calm, and relaxed in a healthy relationship.